2008, The year that was… Career

It may be pretty late that I make this entry…  but I just can’t seem to let the year just pass without me recording the lessons that I have learned and the hopes that I should have for the coming year.

Career

1st Quarter:
I was closing shop with the Aliso Viejo office thinking that everything was in order.  Every week, during the teleconferences, they would tell me things are doing alright; It was only after 6 months when I found out that they were already complaining that Manila did not finish what they were supposed to finish because we no longer have the hours.

It was a big blow on my ego.  For the first time in my career, I felt I did nothing right.  My self-confidence was totally shaken and my self-esteem was dwindling.  The biggest comfort that I had back then was the fact that my boss, who also happened to be my friend trusted me enough and believed in me enough that he absorbed most of the blow.  I was so ashamed that I had to let him go through that road when I should at least share that burden.

Thankfully, despite what AV said, Manila office believed in me enough to let me handle another project.  I may have been doing right since they opted to guide me further along the road and saw me through.

My mentor was telling me that I was being too hard on myself.  That I had to let things go.  It was a good project turned bad, but there were complications that were basically beyond our control.

The only thing that you can actually have control over with is what you have with yourself, and that, is but your own self.  There’s nothing else you can do with what others hold in their world, no matter how narrow you thought that world is.

2nd Quarter:

I was tasked to handle another project with another workshare office.  Haarlem.  We were bridging from the feed phase when the client decided to pull out.

I was basically working as a support to the Process Group.  I found me a new friend.  We were working great together.  I was having so much fun that work didn’t feel like work at all.  For a few months, I felt that all the stresses of the previous project have disappeared and that I could move on and heal my sore ego with this one.

Alas, despite all comforts and hopeful beginnings, you would still get to realize that tomorrow is indeed a new day and no none can ever hold it.

Mom says that the song “I’ll Follow the Sun” speaks of fair-weather friends, I still beg to differ until now.  For me, it speaks of a person who loves someone, but just can’t afford to stay by his or her side.  There are times that no matter how much we want to be in the confines of our safezone, we are being required to get out only to find ourselves getting more vulnerable.  Getting our unexposed side some exposure could render us being sore.

It is during these times that we can find out that we can still become the persons we have long forgotten that we are before we believed we are someone or something else.  The thing that I realized most was that, when we stray from who or what we really are, nature will always find a way to put us back into our own feet.

3rd Quarter:

I was absorbed into my current project.  As nature would always put you to your feet, there are times that what you thought could actually grow would die for some reason.  There are times that despite you knowing the person from way back, there are aspects or sides to that person that changed while you were not looking.

This could become dangerous, as great wars can start from mere personality differences.  Take Julius Caesar and Brutus.  When people forget that they are affecting every single one that he or she comes in contact with, trouble could step in.

I found that every moment you share with a person who is not willing to listen pushes you farther away because there are no opportunities for bridging the gap.  There is no way to make someone listen when they have already closed their minds and developed a single track of thoughts.

A good acquaintance can actually turn into a hypocritical beyotch when things are not settled immediately.  But then again, when you are merely there to work your ass off as you are paid to do so, I don’t think it would be of great importance.

A former mentor once advised that we are all being paid to do what we are expected to do by the company based on your job description.  Having a good relationship with your co-workers is nothing but a bonus.

4th Quarter:

The phoenix rises from the ashes.  It is being reborn after it gets burned.  I was sent to the current project’s lead office:  Houston.  I am trying my best to keep the good relationship that has been established during my trip.

I don’t know what tomorrow holds and I don’t know what others hold in their own little worlds.  What I know now is that what my mom has been telling me is what glues all these things together.

The only thing that is permanent in this world is change.  We are all but visitors and because of these changes, the only treasure we can really have are the memories that we made while we were able to make them.

The year 2008 closed with a thousand and one challenges.  This year, there is another thousand and one.  With all those lessons learned, recorded and remembered…  A big hope comes in that the coming year would be a better chance to prove to my self that I have become a better person than I was in the year that had just passed.